Mariassunta: I Miss the Pain
performed by Kay Belardinelli
I Miss the Pain is the hypnotic first music video from Providence’s Mariassunta, a.k.a. Kay Belardinelli. Directed by the artist herself, it depicts a luminous Connecticut coastline from inside a passenger train, blended with ghostly images of the singer.
The song stays in the liminal space between safety and exhilaration, when a pleasant and loving relationship isn’t enough. Mariassunta confesses, “I’m just not the same if I can’t lose it”, craving something passionate, even volatile, instead.
The video reflects a sense of longing and waiting, with a boundless environment and the monotonous rhythm of a moving train. Mariassunta’s image collapses with its surroundings through the use of transparent layering, creating an expansive singularity. The last shot travels over a bridge into a blown-out sky, with an immense body of water.
and i’ll wait for that way, to feel something that’s not just sweet.
i miss the pain. i miss the bruises. a bit insane, yeah, like we might lose it.
i follow your scent into the night, and find the sight of your campfire. it’s masochistic, it’s not right. i only want what i can’t get. i try to fight it…
but i miss the pain. i miss that blooming. i’m just not the same, yeah, if i can’t lose it.
and i’ll wait for that place. it’s not safe.